


Feels Like We've Been Living In Fast Forward

by thealpacalypse



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Canon Trans Character, Dorks in Love, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Oblivious, sober character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 21:33:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18881677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealpacalypse/pseuds/thealpacalypse
Summary: Just because Matteo is kind of David's date at this party, Laura and her friends shouldn't assume that Matteo and David are dating - but they're assuming just that anyway, and that means a lot of trouble for Matteo, who harbors big secret feelings for his friend. It could be so nice if everything everyone thought was true, especially tonight when David is extra affectionate. But these wrong assumptions get Matteo in a lot of trouble, and he's just trying to survive this party night without getting hurt too much. If only he could talk to David about it all...





	Feels Like We've Been Living In Fast Forward

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a fake dating AU, but quickly turned into a "everyone assumes they're dating while they're oblivious" AU, with a side of "they were interrupted with their kiss that night at Matteo's flat, but what if then neither of them brought up romance ever again, so they've developed a close friendship and nothing else" AU. I wrote it a while back, at the beginning of episode 10 I think, but then I had to let it sit a little because I was too nervous to share it. But now that S3 is over and we probably have to wait months for our queen Amira's season, I figured I should probably help fill the void with this fic.
> 
> Some short notes before we start: In this AU, there is no forced outing. David gets to come out on his own terms, as it should be. Also in this AU, Matteo has gone sober - no alcohol or drugs. I know some of you might see that as OOC, but please don't comment negatively on it; this is a headcanon that's very important to me. The title is from One Direction's "Up All Night" - yes I am gay and have no shame, why do you ask?
> 
> I have to thank my always wonderful friend and beta [Jenna](https://ofcourseitsinsidemyhead.tumblr.com/) who always does the best job at making sense of my ramblings. I also wanna thank [Allie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evakuality) for the additional words of encouragement and the help. Without the two of you, this fic might never have seen the light of day.
> 
> And now finally, here's the fic! Enjoy!

The party was crowded and loud, but not in that uncomfortable way Matteo loathed. There were a lot of people there, yes, people he didn’t know, but they didn’t scare him as much as his friends, classmates and other peers sometimes did. Maybe it was because everyone here was a little older, maybe because everyone seemed way less drunk, maybe it was that there weren’t as many straight couples here and Matteo didn’t feel so much like he needed to hide since no one here knew him. Maybe it was David’s shoulder gently pressed against his back, anchoring him.

 

“Hey, welcome!” Laura cheered and opened her arms for a hug, should Matteo decide he wanted one. She was like that, always waiting for him to do the actual hugging, and being totally cool with it if he went for a fist bump instead.

 

He hugged her. “Happy birthday,” he mumbled and stepped back to give her his present. It was an awkwardly wrapped potted plant, a small monstera that he had picked because David had told him his sister liked house plants. “The guy in the shop warned me that they get huge, so… I hope that’s okay.”

 

Laura beamed at him. “It’s awesome, thanks!” She put the plant down on a small side table that already held a couple of cards, three books, a shirt, and various chocolates and other sweets; then she gestured them over to the kitchen. “Come on, there’s beer in the fridge and wine over there.”

 

Matteo turned around to look at David. He suddenly felt insecure; it had only been a few weeks since he’d gone sober and this was his first proper party without the boy squad since. He didn’t really want to be the weird teen who didn’t drink.

 

David caught his eyes, smiled, and nodded. He understood. “It’s okay,” he said. “We’re gonna stick with apple juice I think. Or how about some Club Mate?”

 

Matteo felt relieved. “Sounds good.”

 

“Well, you know where everything is.” Laura gestured around the kitchen, then swirled around when the doorbell rang.

 

“Phew.” Matteo sank down on a chair, his back resting against the wall. He was glad that this wasn’t one of those parties where everyone was hanging around the kitchen – most people were in the other two rooms, some had been outside in front of the house to smoke and chat. The kitchen was relatively quiet, and Matteo took a couple of deep breaths.

 

David sat down next to Matteo and handed him a bottle of Mate. “You okay?” he asked, opening his own bottle and taking a sip.

 

Matteo nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.” He took the bottle, wrapping his hands around it. It was cold. Felt nice to have something to hold on to. For a second, his eyes flickered over to where one of David’s hands was resting on the table, and he caught himself wishing he could hold that instead. But no. There was a time when Matteo had thought… but no. They had been friends for long enough now that Matteo would definitely ruin things if he ever brought up his feelings.

 

They sat in silence for a minute, listening to the conversations and the music coming from the other rooms. Matteo felt himself relax. He let himself be in the moment, just breathing in and out and listening to his feelings and thoughts, clenching and unclenching his fists, relaxing his jaw, letting go of the tension in his neck and shoulders…  all the things his new therapist had taught him over the past couple weeks. He was infinitely grateful to have something to replace his urge to smoke and drink.

 

David broke the silence first. “Sorry I dragged you here, I shouldn’t have –”

 

“No, it’s fine, I promise.” Matteo smiled at him.

 

David smiled back in that way he sometimes did, his eyes fixed on Matteo’s, his whole face relaxed, somehow soft and open.

 

Those looks were exactly why Matteo had thought there was something between them, in the beginning. Now he knew it was nothing, David was just like that. Attentive and kind. It made Matteo’s chest ache even more. And fuck, why did David have to be so handsome?

 

“So...” David began.

 

Matteo pulled himself together. “So,” he repeated. “How about you introduce me to some people?”

 

David nodded, got up and offered Matteo a hand to pull him up from his chair. “Alright, come on. They’re gonna love you.”

 

It was hard for Matteo to let go of David’s hand again once he’d grabbed it, but after he had let David help him up, there was really no reason for him to keep it. He sighed, reminded himself again to keep it together, but honestly, David never made that easy for him.

 

Just before they stepped out of the kitchen, David turned back to him and said, “I’m glad you came along.”

 

***

 

Laura’s friends were cool and Matteo found himself talking to them easily, as if he’d known them forever. Laura’s friends were also incredibly queer, as it turned out. Matteo saw girls holding hands, a guy sitting in another guy’s lap while they were both talking to a third guy. There were also some people whose gender expression confused Matteo so profoundly that he didn’t know what to make of them and he tried his best not to assume anything about anyone. He was a bit nervous about slipping up and offending someone accidentally, but David made it really easy for him, introducing everyone to him with their name and pronouns; soon, Matteo got a hang of it and began to introduce himself as “Matteo, he/him” to everyone. It was not that hard, really.

 

For a while, Matteo hung around while David got into a deep conversation with two other people about late-stage capitalism (Jonas would love that, he thought), and when he got bored, he wandered around, grabbed himself another Club Mate and ended up chatting about Zelda with a group of girls who sat around in a circle on the floor of Laura’s bedroom.

 

And he was having a really good time, too, theorizing about time lines, laughing about everyone’s biggest fails while playing and all that – until Jamila, the girl to his left, started hitting on him. First he didn’t really notice it. The glances she shot at him didn’t seem to mean anything, and even when she complimented his shirt and called his hairstyle cute, he didn’t think much of it because everyone here was being so nice to each other. He laughed, thanked her, and told her he liked her glasses. But then she moved a lot closer to him, and she kept on mentioning that she lived really close, just in case Matteo wanted to check out her game collection. And she winked at him.

 

 _Fuck._ Matteo’s hands started sweating and he suddenly felt lost. Had he accidentally flirted with the girl without noticing? It had happened to him before, but not really since he had come out. He was just being nice, he had let his guard down… fuck.

 

“I – umm...” he began, with no real idea what to say.

 

That’s when Fritzi, the girl on his right, exclaimed, “Oh jeez, Jamila, keep it in your pants! Don’t you know he’s dating Laura’s brother?”

 

Matteo froze. _What?!_

 

Jamila’s eyes widened and she immediately backed off. “Wait shit, really? Oh shit, Matteo, I’m sorry.”

 

There was nothing Matteo could say. Well, technically there were many things he could and probably should say – but his brain couldn’t form a single proper thought outside of _‘Me, dating David???’_.

 

Another girl, Matteo had forgotten her name, chimed in, “Wait, you mean David?” When Fritzi nodded, the other girl looked thoughtful. “Huh. Didn’t know he had a boyfriend. Good for him, he was pining after that one guy for so long.”

 

That was too much. Matteo needed to get out of there. He got to his feet, mumbled a barely audible “’scuse me” and fled. He probably should have corrected them, told them he was not with David, but wasn’t interested in dating Jamila anyway.

 

But then again, why bother. Jamila had backed off, he might never see any of these girls again, and if it ever came up again, well… he’d cross that bridge when he came to it.

 

Besides, there was this tiny, uncontrollable part inside of him that _wanted_ everyone to think he was with David. He didn’t dwell on it.

 

He wandered around the flat to find David. And he didn’t have to look for long – not only was the flat really small, but David was apparently the center of attention right now, standing in the middle of the kitchen telling a lively story. Everyone listened and laughed along with him, and Matteo took that small moment to lean against the door frame and just watch David for a while.

 

It was surprising to see him like that, so open and vibrant and loud. In school, David had often tried to keep a low profile (though he had immediately caught Matteo’s attention), and later, Matteo had learned that was because David had been afraid of being outed as trans at school. Luckily, that had never happened. But even now that school was over and David had decided to come out to the boy squad as well, he liked to stay in the background. He liked the boys and he was relaxed and content around them, Matteo had made sure of that, but still... Matteo couldn’t help but notice how different David was around these people.

 

David caught his eyes across the room and gave him the brightest smile, the one that always made Matteo swoon. He smiled back, glad that the door frame gave him some stability – his knees felt a little weak.

 

Of course that was when Laura walked past him and grinned at him widely. Matteo had a lasting suspicion that Laura knew about his feelings for her brother, and it made him want to sink into the ground. Ugh, _feelings_.

 

***

 

Initially, Matteo had only planned to stay for an hour or two, and then go home. Parties weren’t really his scene anymore, or maybe they never had been and he had just drowned out that fact with booze and weed.

 

But it was way past midnight by now, he’d been here for hours and he was still having a good time. It almost surprised him. But then again, after that slightly uncomfortable moment with those girls earlier that evening, he had spent most of the night sticking to David’s side. It made him feel safe, and even more than usual, it made his heart race in the most pleasant ways.

 

Because sometimes, one of the girls from earlier would walk by when David and him were deep in conversation, and Matteo would notice them and blush and wonder. How must it look like to an outsider who thought they were a couple? The two of them, sitting on a couch. Matteo’s elbow on the backrest, leaning his head against his hand, probably smiling. David’s whole body turned towards Matteo, leaning closer so he could hear Matteo better. It made sense that those girls would think they were a couple. And it made Matteo feel a lot of things at once. Excited, guilty. A little scared maybe. And so in love.

 

And it wasn’t only that. It was also the fact that David wasn’t only different around these people, he was also different with Matteo tonight. Usually, they hugged to greet each other or say goodbye. Usually, they liked to sit close, so close it would drive Matteo mad because it was never close enough that they were actually touching, it was only ever an _almost_.

 

Not tonight though. Tonight, David didn’t hold back on hugs and affectionate touches; he was sitting close, he put a hand on Matteo’s shoulder or knee to get Matteo’s attention back whenever it wandered for a moment, and he was always, always smiling and laughing.

 

Matteo had come to treasure David’s laugh as something beautiful because it was such a rare gift. Sure, David was a happy person most of the time; Matteo had long seen past his friend’s gloomy and mysterious exterior and knew that he was a king of deadpan humor and a master of puns. But he also knew that it was special to make David laugh, openly and genuinely laugh.

 

Tonight, David’s laugh was beautiful because he gave it so freely. Because he seemed to have such an abundance of happiness inside of him that he just had to let it out.

 

And that, Matteo realized, was even more special.

 

He was so screwed.

 

This was not a new realization – it hit him about every couple of days, pretty much every time he felt like he almost had a handle on things, because that’s when David usually decided to do something so outrageously lovely that Matteo couldn’t stop his heart from exploding over it – but he was still annoyed when his moment of revelation was interrupted by Laura.  

 

“Having a good time?” she asked, flopped down on the ground in front of them and took a sip of her beer.

 

Again, Matteo felt caught. He just nodded.

 

“It’s cool. Are you having a good time?” David asked and stole a salted peanut out of the bowl Laura was holding.

 

Laura tried to pull the bowl away. “Hey, get your own!” But her complaint came way too late. She snickered, then offered the bowl to Matteo as well. Matteo shook his head.

 

“Well, thanks for helping me set it up,” Laura said to David. “And thanks again for coming, Matteo. Our friends were dying to meet you.”

 

“They were?” Matteo blushed. He didn’t really see what was so great about him that people were apparently _dying_ to get to know him, but whatever. He liked the people he had met tonight, so he was glad to hear that they apparently didn’t hate him either.

 

Laura grinned. “Of course. Since David is always talking about you –”

 

“Oh God, stop!” David groaned, grabbed a pillow and threw it in Laura’s direction half-heartedly. She ducked out of its way smoothly, then stuck out her tongue at David.

 

It was absolutely adorable, and Matteo felt a sudden fondness for the two of them. He was just about to make a sarcastic comment to keep his own sappy emotions in check when Laura turned to him again and said, “Oh by the way, sorry about Jamila hitting on you earlier. She told me; she was so embarrassed. I guess I forgot to tell her.”

 

“Tell her what?” David asked curiously.

 

That’s when Matteo froze again. He had assumed earlier had been a simple misunderstanding, maybe Fritzi had been confused or heard something wrong. But if Laura thought –

 

“That you’re dating of course,” Laura said in the most casual tone.

 

_Shit. Fuck. What??? FUCK._

 

“We’re what?!” David sounded out of breath, almost as panicked as Matteo felt. At least he wasn’t the only one completely reeling from these news.

 

Matteo knew he should say something, just like he knew now he should definitely have said something earlier to those girls. Because this? This was the worst situation he could imagine. There were no words.

 

Laura’s face went through an impressive series of emotions in a very short time. She looked back and forth between the both of them, her expression changing from confusion to shock to terror so quickly that Matteo got whiplash just looking at her. Eventually, she stuttered, “You – Shit, but you said – I know you said you told him! And you...”

 

David’s face was bright red, his lips pressed together, his breathing ragged and shaky. “Yeah, told him I was trans! Damnit, Laura, what did you think – no, we’re not together.”

 

He couldn’t even look at Matteo, but Matteo couldn’t keep his eyes off of him for even one second. Too many thoughts were flying around in his head, loud and chaotic and impossible to make sense of. All he could do was shake his head when Laura looked at him.

 

That’s when David leaped up off the couch and made for the door. He grabbed a jacket off the coat rack, grabbed his shoes from the floor, and kicked the door shut behind him.

 

For a moment, Matteo just sat on the couch, completely disoriented and overwhelmed. Too many things had happened too quickly, and by the time his brain kicked back in, Laura was already up and following David. Matteo scrambled up to follow her, but she looked at him over her shoulder and said, “Just… give me a minute, I’ll talk to him. I’m so sorry, Matteo.”

 

Then she was gone as well.

 

It was dead quiet in the flat all of a sudden, no one was talking, only the music kept on playing quietly in the next room.

 

All eyes were on Matteo, as if he could explain what the fuck had happened just now. He couldn’t. And he hated that they were staring at him, that there were so many of them, that nobody minded their own damn business.

 

He sat there for a few more seconds, but then it got too much and he decided he had to get out of there.

 

***

 

“– so sorry, David, I don’t know how I could have misread that. I didn’t mean to –“

 

Matteo didn’t mean to eavesdrop. It was just that he was standing right behind the entrance door and he wanted, needed to get out of this place to clear his head and maybe scream a little, but apparently, David and Laura were right on the other side of that door. There was no way Matteo could get past them. But he couldn’t go back inside to the party either, so he was stuck here.

 

“Don’t you think I would have told you?” he heard David’s voice, loud and clear. It made Matteo think that David was standing right in front of him, only separated by one thin wall.

 

Laura’s reply came muffled, as if from farther away. “I thought you did. I thought you were being subtle. You were spending so much time with him, and you were so happy, I...”

 

Matteo forced himself not to listen, but it was almost impossible. This was none of his business, and wasn’t the whole problem here people getting involved in other people’s business?

 

But then again… what if it was his business?

 

Laura had said, _“you told him”_. Him, Matteo. What did she think David told him? What did she know that made her think…? And if she thought David’s happiness had anything to do with Matteo, what if…?

 

“I know.” That was David’s voice again, more quiet this time. The way he said it made Matteo’s heart ache. “Look, I wish things were different. What am I going to say to him now?”

 

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

 

“No. I’ll… I’ll do it.”

 

“I’m so sorry, David.”

 

There was a long pause. Matteo held his breath, then decided he really shouldn’t be there and that David and Laura deserved this private moment, no matter if it was about him or not.

 

He took a few steps back into the hallway, opened the basement door as quietly as possible and sneaked in. In the darkness, he fumbled with his phone until he found the flashlight app, then went down a few stairs and sat down on one of the brittle wooden steps.

 

For four or five minutes he just sat there and tried to calm down. Breathing, relaxing his jaw, clenching and unclenching his fists, taking in his surroundings, all of it. His heart was still racing by the end of it, but it wasn’t anxiety, it wasn’t painful. It was… wild, uncontrollable, but warm.

 

David’s voice echoed in his head. _“I wish things were different.”_ The way he had said it filled Matteo with such unrest. Like he couldn’t be calm until things _were_ different between them, until he had made sure that David knew things were different.

 

Things.

 

Yes, even though Matteo had hope for the first time in months, he still couldn’t spell out what that might mean. He’d been too sure once. He would be too careful now until he could say it out loud. Until he could talk to David himself.

 

Another five minutes later, he could hear the front door open, and steps up the stairs. One pair of feet, if he wasn’t wrong. So maybe David needed more space. It wasn’t surprising, and Matteo tried not to hate it too much. David deserved all the space he needed. Even when Matteo was craving to have him right here, right now.

 

He waited a bit longer just to be sure he’d heard right, then he got up and went back upstairs.

 

To his surprise, the party seemed over. People had started cleaning up, there was no more music, and some people already put on their shoes. When Matteo passed them, they gave him sympathetic smiles and encouraging nods. Matteo expected to be annoyed, but it somehow felt nice. To know that these strangers wanted to make sure he was okay… yeah, it was nice.

 

Just like Matteo expected, David was nowhere to be seen.

 

Laura was there though, giving him a tired smile. “I thought you left,” she said, sounding relieved that he hadn’t. “Uh, David is going to be back soon, he wants to talk to you. He asked me to, uh… I understand if you want to go home, but he’d appreciate it if...”

 

“I’ll wait,” Matteo said.

 

She nodded. “Thanks. And… sorry again. For the misunderstanding.”

 

***

 

Matteo startled awake when someone touched his shoulder.

 

He must have fallen asleep on the couch, because when he opened his eyes, the room was quiet and dark, the only light coming in from the next room.

 

David was standing next to him, already drawing his hand back from Matteo’s shoulder. Like always, Matteo wanted to reach out and grab it and hold it forever, but this time the urge was even stronger, after all the touches and the closeness of tonight.

 

He decided to give in to it.

 

David almost flinched when Matteo reached out his hand, but he didn’t pull away, even when Matteo gave him a moment to change his mind. Finally, Matteo took David’s hand in his and laced their fingers together. It was hard to read David’s face in the darkness, but Matteo could hear him exhale shakily. David let himself sink onto the couch next to Matteo, facing him. Just a bit too far away. His breathing still shaky.

 

“Need a hug?” Matteo asked quietly.

 

David didn’t answer. Instead, he just leaned forward, wrapping his free arm around Matteo’s back, his other hand still holding Matteo’s. When Matteo pulled him close, David buried his face against Matteo’s neck.

 

They stayed like that for a long while.

 

“Sorry for running away again,” David finally whispered.

 

Matteo shook his head. “It’s okay.”

 

“It’s really not.” David let go of Matteo and leaned back. He hesitated for a moment before he unlaced their fingers, let go of Matteo’s hand, and rested his hands in his lap instead. “I always do that. It’s… I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay,” Matteo repeated. He wasn’t sure if David could see his face, so he tried to put as much sincerity in his voice as he could. “I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

For a moment, David looked at him, trying to examine his face. Then he lowered his head and sighed. “I need to apologize for this whole mess though. I didn’t know, I just...”

 

There was such defeat in his voice, all Matteo wanted was to make it go away. Make David happy again. The way he was before at the party, when they were talking and David couldn’t stop laughing. The way he was before, because of Matteo, maybe.

 

It was worth a shot.

 

“I need to apologize as well,” Matteo started, carefully, still trying to figure out his words. “Before Laura said that, earlier tonight, another girl also thought we were together.” Matteo was searching for David’s eyes, but David kept on looking at his own hands.

 

So Matteo took a deep breath and continued. “And I didn’t correct her because… because I wanted her to be right.”

 

David’s head snapped up, but he didn’t say anything. His eyes were piercing Matteo as if he wanted to read Matteo’s mind. It was scary, Matteo felt exposed and vulnerable, and he had a hard time finishing what he had to say. “Anyway, I should have told her the truth. I’m sorry I got you into that situation.”

 

Still, David didn’t say anything. It was torture. Matteo wanted to reach out, both with his hands and with his mind, wanted to know what David was thinking, what he was feeling… he needed to be sure.

 

And at this point, there was only one way to be sure.

 

“David… I don’t know why Laura would think that, or the other girl, but I know my first thought was that it felt so right. Well, my first thought was actually ‘no way, is this girl mad, he’s far too perfect for someone like me, I mean have you seen his face?’ Umm. I mean I guess I didn’t mind her thinking that because… I actually really like you. Like, really. And I didn’t plan to make a speech about it but uh, here we are.”

 

There. That was the single most scary thing Matteo had ever done in his life. And now he had either made a complete fool of himself, or…

 

“Matteo.”

 

It gave Matteo chills to hear his name like that. He somehow felt like David never said it often enough, always craved for it. But now? David had never said his name like that. Raw, quiet, desperate.

 

“David.”

 

Matteo wished for some goddamn light in this room, he needed to see David’s face, needed to know –

 

David reached out and touched Matteo’s face. One hand cupped Matteo’s cheek, the other came to rest on Matteo’s neck, fingers buried into Matteo’s hair.

 

Breathing became impossible when David pulled him closer, closer, waiting for Matteo to come closer as well, giving him space, giving him time, until every inch they closed between them felt like an eternity – and yet, nothing in the world could make them move faster, because when their lips finally touched… time stood still.

 

For a second, Matteo’s mind felt like it shifted out of his body, back to that night in his kitchen so long ago, when he thought there was something between them, when he hoped that maybe they would kiss, but they were interrupted and he thought the moment had been gone. Now, Matteo realized, that moment had never been gone – it had stretched itself thin and endured months and months of waiting and agonizing and hoping, until it had arrived right here, right now, with them.

 

With this kiss, everything clicked back into place. Matteo, who hadn’t realized that he had been off by one beat for this whole time, finally came back to himself in full color, full feeling, and the most amazing thing was to know that David was right there with him.

 

***

 

They were out of breath, later when they lay entangled under the covers in David’s bed. David had pulled one of Matteo’s arms around his waist, his head rested on the other one. Matteo could feel David’s steady breathing in his lower back, and he could also gently brush his thumb over the short hair behind David’s ear. Their faces were just far enough apart so they could look at each other.

 

The sun was up by now and Matteo could finally see David’s face. It was incredible how easy it was to read now: the fondness, the softly parted lips, the smile that made Matteo melt… he had never seen David like that.

 

Matteo still couldn’t believe how right it felt. Like he should have been right here this whole time, like he had belonged there ever since their almost-kiss months ago. Well, he was here now, and he was more than content about it.

 

“You’re incredible,” David whispered. He had waited for Matteo to close his eyes before he said it, maybe it was easier for him that way. And that was okay; Matteo didn’t need to open his eyes to know that David was smiling and looking at him like that. Looking at him like he had looked at him this whole time, only now Matteo knew what it meant.

 

He chuckled. “Well, you are wonderful, so I think we’re even.” Only then he had to sneak a peek at David. “Oh no wait I forgot, you’re also hot as fuck, and talented, and funny, and you have an awesome taste in music, and did I mention you’re incredibly good looking? So I guess we’re not even after all. Damn.”

 

David groaned and buried his face in his pillow. From there, he mumbled, “You really need to stop saying all these nice things about me.”

 

Matteo frowned. “Why?”

 

It took David a while to answer, but eventually he looked at Matteo again. “Because,” he explained quietly, “it’s unfair. Because I can’t say anything like that back. I – I want to, I just don’t know how. I’m not good at talking about my feelings.”

 

Matteo didn’t understand. He knew all of that, and he didn’t mind – after all, that had been the reason he knew he had to tell David about his own feelings, instead of waiting for David to speak of his. David had given his answer in his own way; that was more than enough for Matteo.

 

“You don’t have to say anything,” he said, but David shook his head.

 

“I really do.” David paused, licked his lips and closed his eyes for a moment, but then he kept looking at Matteo. “Usually whenever I’m trying to express myself, I just make art, but –“

 

“But your art is amazing!” Matteo said, a little to loudly maybe, because David flinched. “Sorry.”

 

David shook his head. “But that’s beside the point. Did you know that all the art I post is about you?”

 

It made Matteo speechless. He loved David’s art, his drawings and sketches and collages, he could look at them forever and never catch their true meaning, but he still always felt like he knew David a little better after each and every single one of them. To hear that all of that was about him? It was incredible.

 

“No,” he admitted. Had he known that, he certainly wouldn’t have wondered about David’s feelings all this time.

 

“See?” David said, as if he had proven a point. Matteo didn’t know what he meant, but he waited patiently for David to continue.

 

Eventually, David took Matteo’s hand, laced their fingers together and placed a gentle kiss on Matteo’s knuckles. “You deserve better. You shouldn’t have to keep guessing. Because… I really, really like you, too. And I want to be with you.”

 

David had lowered his gaze while saying that, but now he looked up at Matteo through his eyelashes, his eyes half shut.

 

Suddenly, Matteo had trouble breathing, and the only remedy he knew for that was to lean in and kiss David, over and over again.

 

“That’s more than enough. You’re enough.”

 

David laughed, still a little out of breath. “You’re doing it again. Saying all these nice things. Friggin’ poet.”

 

“Well,” Matteo grinned, poking David’s cheek. “You made all that art about me, I got a lot to catch up on.”

 

***

 

Matteo wasn’t sure how much time had passed or what time it was when they could hear Laura getting up and rummaging around in the kitchen. He suddenly realized how hungry he was, and he could hear David’s stomach growling as well.

 

“I have an idea,” Matteo said. “How about we steal your sister’s breakfast, then go back to bed and nap for hours?”

 

It made David laugh, so it had already been worth it. “Sounds perfect,” David said. Then he paused, sniffed around and finally added, “I think she’s making pancakes.”

 

He was right. When they got to the kitchen, Laura was standing at the stove and there was already a small stack of pancakes on a plate next to her. She looked up and seemed surprised to see Matteo. “Oh hey, good morning, boys.” She gestured towards the pancakes. “I didn’t know how many I should make, but if you wanna make sure there’s enough for the three of us, how about you make some more batter?”

 

She didn’t have to say that twice – Matteo knew what to do. Pancakes were one of the first things he had taught himself to cook, and there had been times when he had lived off of that stuff, so he didn’t even need a recipe. He grinned at David’s and Laura’s amazed faces while he mixed all the ingredients together in record time and put the finished batter on the countertop next to the stove. “You should let it rest for around ten minutes if you wanna make sure they’re fluffy and perfect,” he said to Laura, then grabbed one of the done pancakes and sat down at the kitchen table next to David.

 

David stared at him, eyes wide. “I thought the boys were lying all this time, but you actually can cook!”

 

Matteo felt smug, so he stuck out his tongue to David, grinned and said, “Just wait until I cook my pasta a la Luigi for you.”

 

That earned him the most beautiful laugh from David, and yeah, that was the reason he had done all that. To be honest, that was the reason for almost everything he did these days.

 

Laura was still at the stove making pancakes, but Matteo could see her sneaking glances at him and David from time to time. He knew she must be curious – after all, things had been a big awkward mess last night, and now they were both here, laughing and teasing each other and all that; surely, she wanted to know what had happened. He gave her great credit for holding back the whole time and not asking a single question.

 

It was a nice breakfast, one of the best Matteo had had in the last months, or maybe even years. The pancakes were delicious and they had raspberry jam and chocolate spread to go with them.

 

“I’m sure we also have some pickles,” David grinned, a reminder of that one time they made those gross cheese toasties together.

 

Matteo grinned back. “Nah, I’m good. I only like my pickles with mustard and whip cream.”

 

Laura looked back and forth between the two of them, equal parts horrified and amused. “You two are disgusting.”

 

David bit his lips to hide his grin. “I know.” He looked up at Matteo who held his gaze, and for a moment, Matteo forgot everything about pickles and pancakes and the whole rest of the world and got lost in that beautiful brown of David’s eyes. It wouldn’t have taken much for him to sigh out loud, but David’s amused chuckle brought him back to reality. He contented himself with hooking his foot around David’s ankle under the table instead, which David seemed to be happy with as well. He gave Matteo a smirk and winked at him, which made Matteo blush and hide behind his mug of tea.

 

“Okay, that’s enough!” Laura said, setting her fork down energetically. It made Matteo flinch – for a second he had forgotten that she was also there.

 

Laura threw her hands up in exasperation, taking a couple of deep breaths before she said as calmly as possible, “I know I said I wouldn’t assume anything anymore, but _please_ put me out of my misery! What on earth is going on?!”

 

David burst out laughing. So he had done all that flirting on purpose to tease her; Matteo found that admirable. A little mean maybe, but yeah, pretty ingenious.

 

When Laura groaned and buried her face in her hands, Matteo decided to take pity on her though. “We’re dating now.”

 

Wow. Just saying that out loud made a lava bomb explode inside his chest, filling him with hot desire from head to toe.

 

And the way David looked at him now… that was another wow. Matteo had no idea how David could think he kept Matteo guessing about anything. All Matteo ever needed to know was right there on David’s face. David had never been more beautiful. Matteo had never felt more loved.

 

“Okay...” Laura said slowly, stretching out the second syllable. “I’d say you’re messing with me to make me pay for yesterday, but wow, you must be bloody good actors if that’s the case.”

 

David grinned and licked his lips. “Yeah, we’re totally messing with you. Like, we stayed up all night and had a big talk about our feelings just to mess with you.”

 

Because Matteo felt bold, he asked David, “Oh, what about the two or three hours we made out though? Was that to mess with her as well?”

 

He was instantly rewarded by David with the widest grin and another wink. “No babe, that was just for fun.”

 

“In that case, wanna have some more fun?”

 

They ignored Laura’s sounds of embarrassment and frustration while Matteo let himself be dragged out of the kitchen by David.

 

The last thing they heard of her was a defeated shout of “Stay safe!”, then they closed the door to David’s room behind them and burst into uncontrollable laughter.

 

***

 

It was hard, trying to fall asleep next to the most perfect guy Matteo had ever met, because all he wanted to do was talk to him and look at him forever; but it was also easy. He felt so comfortable, so content. Most of the time, what kept Matteo awake was an endless spiral of thoughts and fears and worries, but right now, everything had gone quiet, his mind focused only on this, now.

 

He already felt himself slip into sleep when David reached out to touch his cheek and softly follow the lines of his chin and his cheekbone and his lips. “Last night,” he said, “when I was running away from here, I really didn’t think that this was waiting here for me.”

 

Matteo smiled without opening his eyes and leaned into David’s touch. “I’m glad you came back.”

 

“I’m glad you waited.”

 

David was quiet for a long time, but somehow Matteo had the feeling he should wait, that maybe David was still figuring out his next words. And he was right.

 

“You know, Matteo, I… I’ll try to not let you wait from now on. Maybe it’s time for me to stop running all the time.”

 

Matteo sighed contentedly. “Look who’s the poet now.” He could feel David lean forward to press a gentle kiss on his cheek, right above his jaw bone next to his ear, David’s fingers lightly cupping Matteo’s chin.

 

There it was again, that heat inside Matteo’s chest, that desire that had finally found its rightful place. The best thing about it was that he knew it would still be there when he woke up later.

 

And so would David.


End file.
